There's a Ghost in My Bathroom
by Dragon Silhouette
Summary: Sora is accepting. Roxas is in denial. Riku is just going along with whatever's on the website because it was created by some dude called Ansem the Wise, therefore it's obviously legit. Slight RikuSora; crack; character death, but not really.


**Summary:** Sora is accepting. Roxas is in denial. Riku is just going along with whatever's on the the website because it was created by some dude called Ansem the Wise, _therefore_ it's obviously legit. Slight RikuSora; crack; character death, but not really.

**Disclaimer:** asdfghjkl like hell it is.

**Author's Note:** I don't even know. But I can't bring myself to feel sorry for writing this.

* * *

**There's a Ghost in My Bathroom**

* * *

Sora was struggling to figure out what he was seeing.

Because this was not possible.

"I am so very sorry," Riku apologized for the nth time. He floated a few steps away from Sora. Yeah, you read that right.

Sora struggled with the fact that Riku was floating.

"I didn't mean to walk in on you..."

Sora struggled with the fact that Riku was see-through. Then gave up. Trying to struggle with the facts was like trying to wrestle sea-salt ice cream from Roxas.

"So, like, you're a pervy ghost," Sora finally said.

The silver-haired ghost flushed red. Which was interesting because the slight glow around him tinged pink too. "It was an accident! I didn't know you were using the shower."

Sora sat down in the toilet seat, fully clothed, unlike ten minutes ago. His brown hair was still damp, and his black shirt was backwards in his haste to put them on. He blinked bewilderedly at Riku. "Let me get this straight: you're a ghost."

"Yes."

"Normally, people wouldn't be able to see you."

"Yeah."

"But I can see you in this room because this is where you died and where your spirit energy is the strongest, and because I'm close to your age and therefore able to empathize with you better than people older or younger than me."

"Pretty much."

Sora went to his bedroom and looked through the doorway. Riku was still there. "Come out," Sora ordered. Riku did. As soon as his foot set through the doorway, he vanished.

"Oh." Because what could he say to that?

There was stomping up the stairs, and before Sora could lock his door a harried-looking Roxas burst in and said frantically, "Have you seen my - " He stopped. He stared at Sora's bathroom.

Gulping, the brunet turned and saw... nothing. Riku was not in the bathroom.

"Sora, who's that?"

"Who's what?"

"The slightly see-through, silver-haired guy standing in front of your bathroom."

Sora gawked. "You can see him?"

"You can see me?" said a disembodied voice.

"I don't know what I'm seeing, but I can see it," said Roxas flatly.

* * *

Ten minutes and a whole lot of incredulous pointing at the bathroom later, Roxas finally got the whole picture. But he still felt the need to clarify for himself because, well, these kinds of situations only happened in badly written fanfiction.

"So he's a ghost," Roxas summarized.

"Uh huh."

"That can only be seen in the bathroom."

"Yeah."

"Because it's where he died."

"Yep."

"But for some reason I can see him outside of it."

"Looks like it."

Roxas nodded, then without another word turned on his heels and exited the bedroom. Alarmed, Sora went after him. "Wait - "

"I don't want to hear it!" Roxas yelled. "I don't believe in ghosts."

"What? But you just saw him - "

"I'm in denial!"

"But - "

"Denial!" A door slammed, signaling that Roxas had left the building. House. Whatever.

"I think he's in denial," invisible Riku explained helpfully.

"No _duh_."

* * *

"Okay, so what do we do?"

"Do?" Riku shot him a strange look. They were both in the bathroom again, Sora on the toilet seat and Riku leaning against the sink.

"You know, do." Sora gestured wildly. "Like, how to help you move on or something."

"How should I know?"

"I don't know! You're the ghost that's haunting my bathroom! Shouldn't you know something?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be haunting your bathroom."

Sora's shoulders slumped, and they stayed like that for a few moments before he brightened. "I know!"

"What?"

"I know what to do. Or at least, get information on what to do."

"Really?" Riku was interested now. "Do you have an ancient family tome that details how to send a ghost to the blessed heavens?"

"Nope!"

"Do you have a distant psychic relative whose boundless knowledge of the afterlife will allow me to rest in peace?"

"Better!" He grinned at the ghost. "I have the Internet!"

* * *

Sora sat in front of the computer and opened a new window. A Tron search engine came up - hey, it's King Mickey's birthday today! - and he typed in, _How to send a ghost to the afterlife._

Riku, still invisible, said dubiously, "I don't think this is going to work..."

"Of course it is! It's the Internet. The Internet knows everything. Here we go!" Sora clicked on a link that led to a website, created by one Ansem the Wise, that explained, in detail, how to send a ghost to the afterlife.

After staring at the screen for a while, Sora exclaimed, "I think I got it!"

Riku, whose attentioned had wandered to the man in the iron mask walking outside, said absently, "Mmhmm."

"Riku, how did you die?"

"What?" Did he hear that right?

"How'd you die?"

"Uh..." Although he couldn't see, the ghost had glowed pink.

"Come on," Sora comforted, "I'm sure it wasn't that bad..."

"I, uh, slipped..."

"Slipped?"

"... In the bathtub... I hit my head on the faucet..."

Sora took a minute to comprehend that. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the guy for dying in such a dumb way. Then all he could say was, "But I showered in there."

"It's because there was no grip for my feet."

Shaking away the disturbing connotations, Sora stated, "I am never showering in there ever again."

Riku looked slightly offended. This look was lost as he was invisible, so Sora continued, "Well, obviously you didn't die a violent death, so it can't be that... Do you have a grudge against someone? An enemy?"

The ghost shrugged, then remembered. "Not really."

"Did you have an important project or task that was left unfinished because of your death?"

"Aside from my chemistry homework, no."

"Were you romantically involved with someone?"

Riku blushed again. "Um, no, but I've always wanted to - "

"Then that must be it!" Sora declared. "You weren't able to move on because you want to fulfill a deep-seated desire to have a meaningful long-term relationship with someone."

The silver-haired boy raised an eyebrow. "And you arrived to that conclusion _how_?"

Sora pointed at the last paragraph on the website. "'When in doubt, it's probably love.'"

"I highly doubt it's - "

"It's always love," Sora insisted. "Always. Love is the most important thing _ever_. That and friendship. Without friendship humanity wouldn't be where it is now. The power of friendship conquers all obstacles, and there's nothing you can't do with friends at you side because your friends are you power and - where was I going with this? Ri - Riku? Hello?" Sora waved a hand vaguely to get his attention, but the other boy had long retreated to his personal happy place.

After dragging Riku back from his happy place, Sora told him of his plan.

It took a minute for it to sink in, and another minute for all the obvious flaws to emerge.

* * *

Five minutes:

"Sora, I still don't know how you arrived to this conclusion, but there has to be some other way - "

"Nope!"

* * *

Seven minutes:

"I really don't think - "

"Exactly. So just leave it all to me, I promise I know what I'm doing."

* * *

Ten minutes:

"But _why_?"

"Riku, a guy called Ansem the _Wise_ gave us instructions on how to send a ghost to the afterlife. So it's obviously legit."

* * *

Thirty minutes:

"Okay, I give up."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

* * *

Roxas didn't know how to react to the news. "You...?"

Sora nodded happily. "Yeah."

"Are in a relationship...?"

"Uh huh."

"With Riku...?"

"Got it in one."

Roxas set down his half-eaten sea-salt ice cream. Which said a lot about how confused he was, considering that it usually took a force equivalent of a rampaging herd of chocobos to get him to set down an unfinished popsicle. "I... don't understand."

"I could look it up on Tron for you," Sora offered nicely. "There's this website that tells you how to help ghosts move on, and it's really legit, 'cause the guy's name is Ansem the Wise. _Wise_, Roxas. That means he's smart and he knows what he's talking about. I think."

"Isn't this kind of necrophilia?" Roxas wondered.

"Well, technically Riku isn't actual physical corpse..."

"But..." His brother was so dumbstruck, he looked like a stereotypical dumb blond. "How does it even work?"

"Hm?"

"Like... Like kissing, 'cause he's invisible, and he's a ghost, or - or - "

"I'm sure we'll figure it out when we get there." Sora shrugged. "What I do know is that I'm gonna be spending a lot of time in the bathroom from now on. Mom and Dad'll probably notice. Eh, I can always tell them I have diarrhea or something - "

"Sora."

"Yeah?"

"Please stop talking."

"Okay."

The two brothers stayed silent for a moment before Roxas stood up and exited the bedroom. Sora hurried after him. "Wait - "

"I don't want to hear it!" Roxas yelled. "I refuse to believe that you're in a relationship with a ghost."

"But I told you - "

"I'm in denial!"

"But - "

"Denial!" A door slammed, signaling that Roxas had left the building. House. Whatever.

"I think he's in denial," still-invisible Riku explained helpfully. Unnecessarily. Again. "And this looks awfully familiar."

"No _duh_."

There was a pause.

"By the way, I'm still not happy about this."

* * *

**THE END**

**( because if I keep going it'll never end )**


End file.
